Relationship with OTHERS

There are some conversations that I’d rather avoid. I’m uncertain of how to initiate them. I don’t know if the right words will come out of my mouth. I’m also nervous whether the other person will respond positively.

However, I’m sure it will bring me so much satisfaction if I push through with them. It will allow me to end the year on a very happy note. It can also create momentum to start the New Year fully recharged.

In the corporate world, I’ve had countless year-end performance reviews. I sweat a little. My heart beats a bit faster. It’s uncomfortable especially when the targets weren’t met. Yet, it always motivated me to be better the next year.

These are some daring conversations worth initiating sooner rather than later.

1. Conversation with My Spouse about our Marriage
I must have a dialogue whether Love and Respect are evident descriptions of our marriage. Whatever the answer, I should ask how I can improve on my end. I need to know my spouse’s perspective. I can’t simply assume.

One daring question to ask my spouse is: “Can you give me 1 suggestion how I can be a better partner for you?” This takes humility and self-control so I don’t defend myself. I just listen.

It’s so easy to delay this. Unfortunately, some couples only have serious discussions when much damage has already been done. My marriage is the most important human relationship I have. I have to constantly build and strengthen it.

2. Conversation with My Child about my Parenting
Though my daughter is still very young, she already observes my attitudes and behavior. I want her to see that Dad is very involved in raising her in a godly home.

In this conversation, I’m going to apologize for the times I was impatient with her. If I do this regularly, one day she’ll realize that she has a Dad who’s willing to admit his mistakes. I’m sure that kind of attitude will rub off on her.

3. Conversation with my Spiritual Mentor about my Character
I ask my mentor what character traits I need to work on. I might not be seeing my flaw. I have blind spots. Someone can give me a different perspective.

Making myself vulnerable to someone isn’t easy. I trust that person to rebuke me out of love. This conversation could be painful. But if I allow myself to be accountable, I’m setting myself up for a major improvement in my character next year.

4. Conversation with Someone about an Incident
Because I’m imperfect, it’s possible that I’ve hurt someone. Intentionally or unintentionally. I can’t be passive and “let time heal all wounds.” God may be telling me to talk to that person.

Conversely, it’s also possible that a person has offended me. I need to settle the matter first with God and myself. I should forgive that person because Christ has forgiven me much. Then if the Spirit prompts me, I meet up with that person. I lovingly share how I felt and how I’ve already forgiven him or her. I don’t try to take revenge in any way.

Romans 12:18 says “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This means that I have to do my part to have peaceful relationships with everybody. The response of people is out of my control already.

These conversations are uncomfortable. They are daring. Having them will end my year well. It helps usher in a happy new year.

Discussion Question:
What other daring conversations should be initiated? Share your inputs below.